Six important kisses
by OhSnapItzLara
Summary: God, even his greetings are stupid, she tells herself, feeling her heart flutter in contrast. Sam, stop being such a... Girl! A sweet cute girl like Carly who blushes at the sight of a cute guy! But.. Freddie's not cute... Alright, he kind of is.. But.. I'm Samantha Puckett, and I HATE Freddie Benson!/ Or, Six important times that Sam and Freddie kiss.
1. The Fire Escape

**The First Kiss**

The first kiss they share is in a fire escape.

He sits there, staring out at the cars below.

_I can't believe Sam lied in front of the whole internet for me, _Freddie thinks. Then something occurs to him. _What if she wasn't lying?_

That wouldn't shock him. _Not that Sam's not pretty_, he adds mentally. _But she is a little, aggressive, _he laughs in his head at what an understatement that is.

Freddie wonders why Sam said anything at all. She hates him. She torments him. And she told the world one of his biggest secrets.

And ruined his life.

_She didn't mean to, _a voice in his head tells him. And Freddie is fairly sure the voice is right.

_Sam and I are weird_, Freddie realizes. _We do everything that friends do, except we hate each other. _And then he wonders, _do I hate Sam?_

Hate. It's such a strong word. He's not sure if it applies to them. He decides to tone it down a bit.

Dislike. At times, he dislikes what she does... He doesn't think he dislikes her. _I couldn't hang out with someone who I didn't like at least a little bit._

Like. He can like her at times. _Sometimes, because no matter how much we fight.. We are best friends... And she is really funny. _

Love. Equally as strong as hate. Something you should never ever say if you don't mean it. _Do I love Sam? Why would I love Sam? I don't think I love Sam._

_ Sam and I are weird, _Freddie agrees with himself from earlier.

Interrupting Freddie's jumbled thought process is Sam. He hears her knock on the fire escape door, and turns his head slightly, before fully turning around in his chair.

* * *

Sam walks down the hallway to Freddie's apartment, finding the fire escape.

Before she enters, she just stands there for a second.

_What am I about to do? _Sam wonders, confused. _And why did I just embarrass myself on the internet for Freddie?_

For Sam, her feelings for Freddie are clear. She hates him.

She hates everything about the little nub.

Whyshe hates him though, is a question not even Sam can answer.

_Why do I hate Freddie? _Sam wonders. _I'm so rude to him. For no reason that I even know of. I take it a little far sometimes. _

She sighs. She knows that it's time she apologizes.

She reaches her arm around, and knocks on the door.

Freddie turns around, meeting her eyes, he looks a little surprised.

They share an awkward smile, and he motions for her to enter.

She doesn't hesitate, she slides the fire escape door open, swinging her legs up to sit on the ledge, leaning against the wall.

"What's up?" She asks.

"Nothin," Freddie replies.

He gets up, to turn down the volume on his pear pod. It's playing Running Away By AM.

"Meatball," Sam offers. _It's a peace offering, _Sam thinks. _Anyone who gets offered a meatball by me should feel lucky._

"No thanks..." Freddie says, wondering exactly how meat is always on her mind. _Typical Sam, _he realizes.

Sam shrugs. _His loss,_ she thinks, chucking it far off into the night.

Freddie watches it fall, and then turns back to Sam.

_This is our first time really alone. Without Carly. Or Spencer. Or anyone_, Freddie realizes.

He looks at the blonde haired demon in front of him. The girl who just lied to thousands of people, or maybe, confessed something she herself was hiding. And she did it all for him.

"That was really brave," He tells her, smiling sincerely. "What you said," he adds.

"You heard?" Sam wonders. Freddie turns around, grabbing his laptop.

"You didn't think I'd miss icarly?" Freddie says, smirking.

Sam smiles, _he's such a little nerd,_ she thinks, amused.

Freddie sits down on the ladder in the fire escape.

_Just do it Sam, it's not that hard, _Sam tells herself. She had to apologize, something shes always been bad at. _You can do it. Just two words._

"I'm sorry." Sam blurts. "About, telling people you never kissed anyone."

Freddie looks down, trying to figure out if she means it. _If she wasn't sorry, she would have told the whole internet to stop teasing him, that she hadn't kissed anyone either, _he reasons. And he knows she meant it. He knows she's sorry.

"And about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle," Sam adds. "And about sending your cell phone to Cambodia."

Freddie smiles, because Sam may be a blonde headed demon, but she's apologizing, she's saying she's sorry. _And she means it._

"Everything," Sam says. "Okay?"

"So this means you're not gonna mess with me anymore?" Freddie asks. _Please say no. That would be too weird. That's Sam and I's thing. We mess with each other, we pull pranks on each other, we scream at each other and we hate each other, and we're best friends, _Freddie realizes.

"No, I'm still gonna mess with you," Sam laughs, as though the idea is ridiculous. "I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again," Sam explains.

"Good." Freddie says, smiling.

"Good?" Sam asks, confused,

"Yeah! It'd be too weird if you didn't make my life miserable all the time!" Freddie explains. "But," He says, hopefully, "Maybe you could pull back just a little bit-"

"I don't think so," Sam interrupts.

"Yeah, I didn't either."

A silence arouses, and Sam decides to break it.

"It's so dumb," Sam says.

"What do you mean?" Freddie asks, confused.

"You know.. How people get all 'freaked out' over there first kiss." She sighs. "It's stupid."

_She wasn't lying. She hasn't kissed anyone, _Freddie realizes.

"So you weren't lying? You've really never kissed anyone?" Freddie asks.

"Nope," Sam says, her tone a little upset. "Sometimes.. I just.. wish .. Get it out of the way," am says. Freddie's never seem her so at loss for words.

"Yeah, I know, me too." Freddie agrees. It's one of the very few things they agree one.

"Right?" Sam says. "You know, just so that I can stop worrying about it!"

"Yeah," Freddie agrees. There eyes meet for a second.

_We both just want to get our first kiss out of the way... We both want to stop worrying about it... What if we kissed? _Freddie smiled, amused by his own thoughts. Him and Sam kissing? That wouldn't happen in a billion years.

"What?" Sam wonders.

"Nothing.. it's..."

"Tell me," Sam demands.

"Nah it's dumb.."

"Say it!" Sam insists. She knows what he's gonna say even before he says it... And maybe just maybe, that's what she was hinting at all along.

"Okay... I was just gonna say.." Freddie begins.

"That we should kiss?" Sam finishes for him, a small breeze blowing on her blonde hair. _Why am I smiling? Freddie just suggested kissing me? _Sam asks herself.

"You're gonna break my arm now right?" Freddie says, looking down.

Sam shakes her head. "No."

"Well.. Should we?" Freddie asks her. He shrugs. "Just so both of us can get it over with?"

"Hmm..." Sam pauses. "Just to get it over with?" She makes sure.

"Just to get it over with!" Freddie agreed.

"An you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over!" Sam says, moving closer to him.

"Oh totally! And we never tell anyone!" Freddie added.

"Never!" Sam agreed.

Then the two sat their for a moment, looking at each other.

_Should I really do this? Why should I have my first kiss with.. Sam.. The girl who's always tormenting me. Should I waste it on her?_

_ You're not wasting it, _a voice in his head tells him. _Maybe you and Sam hate each other, but You're both friends. You're both here. And you both haven't had your first kiss. Just kiss her. _Freddie stares at Sam nervously.

_ Why am I about to do this? I hate Freddie! Why was I even hinting that maybe... I kinda want Freddie to be my first kiss.. Why would I want that?! I hate Freddie. But... Why do I hate Freddie? _Sam thought, confused.

So she sat there, waiting for him to kiss her.

"Well... Lean..." She reminds him.

Freddie sighs._ I'm ready, _He tells himself, and he leans in, getting closer and closer to Sam.

_I got myself into this, _Sam thinks. But she knows the truth, she wants this.

And the way she feels when Freddie's lips finally hit hers proves that.

Freddie keeps his eyes closed, feeling Sam's lips on his. And he's bit shocked to find that he's.. Actually enjoying it...

Her lips on his actually feels right in some weird way.

_Why do I like kissing her? What is going on? I like Carly... I hate Sam... But.. I'm kissing Sam.. Not Carly.. And.. I like it. _And Freddie discovers that he's actually kind of glad his first kiss is Sam and not Carly.

She can't decide whether to keep her eyes open or closed.

She knows you're supposed to close them, but she wants to be able to see him.. To remind herself who she's kissing..

Because there's no way she could feel this.. Good while kissing... Him.

She looks around, staring at him, but it doesn't change anything.

So Sam asks herself the question again. _Why do I hate Freddie? _

_ Why do I feel those little stupid 'butterflies' as he kisses me. I hate him. Why do I see those sparks? I hate him._

_ Why do I hate him?_

_ I hate him because I love him._

She only just realizes it herself, when she realizes how true it is. It explains so much. It explains why she hates the thought of Carly and Freddie being a couple. It explains why she even agreed to kiss him in the first place. And most of all... It explains why she hates him.

She closes her eyes again and focuses on the feeling of his lips on hers, knowing it will probably never happen again. She memorizes the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, and all the colors of the sparks she sees around her.

And then they pull away, both a little reluctantly, of coarse neither of them would ever admit it.

Freddie raises his eyebrows, clearly satisfied. _Why did I enjoy that so much? _He wonders, because he did.

Sam sits quietly, taking it all in.

_I just had my first kiss._

_ Freddie just had his first kiss._

_ I hate Freddie, because I love him.. Which is why I hate him, because I don't want to love him._

"Well that was ummm..."

"Nice?" Sam supplies.

"Nice.. Uh.."

"Good work," Sam says awkwardly.

" Thank you. You too.." He agrees.

They're pretty sure you don't say these things after a first, but to be honest.. They don't care.

Sam gets up, turning, beginning to leave.

**"I keep running away.. Even from the good things.." **The music plays from Freddie's pear pod.

_Am I running away? Am I running away from something that might be amazing? _Sam wonders.

Hey," Freddie calls, before she leaves.

Sam turns to look at him.

He stares right into her blue eyes, smiling.

"I hate you," he tells her, although his tone screamed the opposite.

Sam smiled.

"Hate you too," She agreed, and then she walked away, without another word.

Freddie looked after her until she got out of his sight.

And he was left alone, to ponder what just happened.

**A/N: I love seddie soo much.. I dont usually write it though... **

** So please excuse if this is crap... This is supposed to have 6 chapters... But if its awful.. I might not continue it. **


	2. The Lock In

**A/N: You guys seemed happy with the last chapter, so I decided to continue this story :) **

**I hope you like this!**

**The Second Kiss**

The second kiss they share happens years later.

She's sitting against the school, watching the leaves blow by in the wind.

_I just want to get away from it all, _Sam thinks to herself. _Why did the boy I have to love be the boy everyone thinks I hate?_

_ I made it this way, _Sam admits. _I ran away, and now I have to live with it._

Ever since the kiss in the fire escape, she buried her feelings for him in even more hate, hoping she'd never have to deal with them again.

But over the past month, they've begin coming up again. Slowly, but surely. She found herself blushing when he looked at her too long. Or offering to help him with something she seriously doesn't care about.

It was almost torturous, falling in love with the wrong person, the person you already knew you loved, but have avoided for years, wishing you didn't love them.

And know she has fell for him, and can't get up.

_I don't fall in love. I'm Sam Puckett. I'm strong, brave, fearless, I love ham, and I don't need a nerdy little dude to look after me. No freaking way. That's not me, _Sam tells herself. _He'll just leave me like every other man in my life has. _

Sam sighs. This is all her fault. She went all soft on Freddie and Brad, and now Carly has convinced herself she's in love with fudge-boy.

As if. She doesn't want a Noseby Mosby bacon-repeat. _But that fudge IS amazing. _

Sam hears a clock strike. Another hour passed. One less hour until she can get out of this school, away from Fredward Benson. She sips her water, letting he tasteless beverage run down her throat.

She hears the door open. _Please don't be Carly. Or Carly pushing Brad outside trying to pull another animal channel stunt... No, worse, please, just please, don't be Freddie, _She pleads, to no one in particular.

She tilts her head slightly to see a head poking out from behind the door. Fear bubbles in her stomach. Freddie. _Why am I scared? It's not like I haven't been Freddie's frie- Co-worker, since like eighth grade... _

"Yo, yo," He greets.

_God, even his greetings are stupid, _she tells herself, feeling her heart flutter in contrast. _Sam, stop being such a... Girl! A sweet cute girl like Carly who blushes at the sight of a cute guy! But.. Freddie's not cute... Alright, he kind of is.. But.. I'm Samantha Puckett, and I HATE Freddie Benson! _The internal battle is starting to stress her out, she came here for a moment alone, to sort her feeling out. The fact that he's here isn't going to help anything!

"Carly sent you to find me?" She asks, her tone annoyed. _Carly has to start minding her own business, _she thinks.

"Nope," Freddie answers simply, walking closer.

_So... He didn't come on her recommendation.. So he doesn't know about Carly and I's fight? Why is here? Does he care about me or something? _She scolds herself internally for being so desperate.

_If Carly's so smart anyways, why can't she figure out the truth? Am I that good a liar? Well, yeah I am. But, still, why can't she believe me when I tell her I'm not into Brad? _

"Oh, so you don't know we had a little argument." Sam says, her tone obviously annoyed.

"She told me about your little argument, I just said she didn't tell me to come find you," Freddie explains, leaning up against the school wall, doing his 'cool guy' pose.

_Why does he look so cute like that? Why did I just think that!? _She asks herself, confused.

"Good," Sam says. She's glad he came without Carly sending him. Carly's been annoying enough today. At least she can find something to be mad at Freddie for. Maybe hating him more will cover up all this... Love.

And maybe, she's also happy he came by himself because she knows he cares about her. _Maybe he even agrees with me on how irritating Carly is being. _

"But Carly's right," Freddie states factually.

_Well then... _Sam counters her previous thoughts. _Of coarse Carly's right! With her dumb Brad theory! Oh yeah, how could I forget, it was Freddie's stupid mood thing that I helped him make that made this whole 'Sam in love' hypothesis! _

"UGH!" Sam groans in frustration. _How can he be so dumb? _She wonders. _I've been nice, and helpful, and considerate all day! What do I need to do!? Kiss him?!_

"Groan all you want," He says, like a stubborn parent.

"I don't care what your stupid pearpad app says about me being in love! I'm not into Brad like that!" Sam adds at the end, fidgeting with her water.

Sam's an amazing liar, but something about her tone makes Freddie reconsider what he's accusing her. _She has to be into Brad... _Freddie reminds himself. _She's obvious in love... She's ALWAYS hanging out with Brad and I! _

"Lately, every time I tell you that Brad and I are doing something, you wanna come hang with us!" Freddie says, stepping forward.

_Yeah Benson, Brad and __**I**__! I thought you were mr. smart, nerd. _

"And that means I'm in love with him?" Sam challenges.

_Is she even listening? _Freddie wonders. _Does she think I'm stupid or something? _Freddie asks himself.

_ God, he's so stupid! _Sam complains.

"Well, you hate me!" Freddie reminds her, with a 'duh' look on his face.

Sam fidgets with her water bottle.

_But... I hate you because I love you._

"I never said I hate you," She says, and they both know it's a lie.

_Why did I run away? Why aren't we together? Why did I fall for such a nub? _Sam questions.

_Wait, wait, wait.. Sam just said she hasn't said she hates me!? _Freddie laughs internally.

"Yeah you have!" He says, and Sam looks down a little guiltily.

_Hate, Love, same thing... _Sam defends.

"Like 900 times! I still have the birthday card you gave me that says 'happy birthday, I hate you.. Hate, Sam'" Freddie recites, proving his point.

Sam sighs. She doesn't want to tell him, but he's gonna force her. Why can't he just go away, and get out of her life before she ruins it.

"Just leaaaaaave!" Sam demands, pointing towards the exit.

"Fine,"

_ Good._

"I'll leaaaaaave,"

_ Just go away! _

"Bye!"

_She actually thinks I'm giving up that easy? _Freddie thinks.

"But before I go-"

_I thought he was going to leave! I hate him so freaking much! Just get out Benson!_

"That's it!" Sam yells, getting up from her seat by the water fountain. "Get out of here before I do a double fist dance on your face!" She threatens, looking Freddie in the eye threateningly, the distance between them a whole lot shorter, and Sam's heart beating a whole lot faster.

_He's so freaking close... Yet so far away. _Sam realizes. Trying to keep her eyes from looking at his lips longingly. _He's Freddie Benson. He's Freddie Benson, _she reminds herself.

"You can threaten your double fist face dancing all you want" Freddie says.

_She doesn't mean it, _Freddie knows.

"But Carly's still right," Freddie says truthfully.

_It must be hard to be able to not express your love for someone. _Freddie realizes. _But it's not like Brad's gonna be too shocked. Sam has been following us around 24/7, _Freddie adds thoughtfully.

"Look, I know It's scary for you to put your feelings out there, 'cause you never no if the person you like is gonna like you back." Freddie says truthfully.

_Freddie, you have no idea... I KNOW the person I like doesn't like me back. And he's standing right in front of me. _

" Everyone feels that way! But you never know what might happen if you don't-"

She doesn't quite know what made her do it. Maybe it is the romantic setting, or the fact that his lips were too close to her, and he is making her feel so... Vulnerable.

Or maybe, it's the fact that she knows he is right. She doesn't know what will happen, and it's a chance worth taking.

She grabs his shoulders in her hands firmly, bringing her lips to his.

It's been too long since they've kissed. Much too long.

He stands still, his head tilted, feeling Sam's sturdy grasp on his shoulders, and her lips of his. They feel so familiar, like they're meant to be there. His eyes widen with shock and confusion.

_Sam's kissing me, _he realizes. _Sam's... Kissing. me. Sam likes me not Brad! _

He contemplates if he's happy about this. _She's a good kisser, _he thinks, a bit dazed from the fireworks in his mind. _Why do I feel this way? It's Sam Puckett in front of me. Not Carly Shay! _Freddie tells himself. _I didn't feel like this when kissing Carly... I didn't get these... Butterflies. And I didn't feel so nervous and excited at the same time. _Freddie wills himself to respond to Sam, whose thrown herself upon him, kissing him harder while he stands like stone.

But he can't move. He's in shock. Samantha Puckett, who has hated him for so many years is kissing him... For the second time in his life.

And he likes it.

Sam kisses him a bit harder, wishing he'd kiss her back already. _What if he doesn't like me? Thanks a lot Freddie for your dumb advice. I followed it. I put my feelings out there and you sit there like a stone. I knew this was gonna happen, _Sam thinks.

But despite Sam's nerve wracking thoughts, and Freddie's confused ones, they both agree on one thing.

This feels right.

They agreed on that before, and they still do.

If only they knew that.

Finally, Sam leans back, dragging her hands off Freddie's shoulders reluctantly. The two staring into each others eyes, both wishing desperately they could read minds.

"I-" Freddie begins. _What just happened? _He wonders. _Sam kissed me. I liked it._

_ I think I love her._

"Sorry," Sam apologizes. _He hates me. He didn't like that. _

"It's cool," Freddie assures her, all too truthfully.

There are words needed to be said. Lips needed to be kissed. Hands needed to be held.

But Sam just runs away.

Again.


	3. Troubled Waters

**The Third Kiss**

Their third kiss is only three days later.

Carly is doing her best to set Sam and Freddie up, by video chatting with the Seddiers watching icarly.

"Okay, look, I don't care how many icarly fans say I'm not insane for liking Freddie! I know tat I'm cra-" Sam begins.

_I am insane, _Sam repeats. _I hate Freddie because I love Freddie, and since I love him I hate him.. And loving Freddie is crazy all by itself.. Ugh. I belong at this mental hospital. _

"Wait, wait wait," Freddie interrupts.

_I don't think it's fair that everyone is so concerned with how Sam feels... What about me? _Freddie wonders. _I guess I should tell them that. _

"Let's take one more chat," Freddie requests.

_Do I like Sam? How do I feel? _Freddie asks himself. He remembers the kiss in the lock in. how... Right her lips against his felt. He can picture her beautiful blue eyes and hear her voice in his head, fogging his vision. _Yes, _he decides. _I do like Sam. _

"No, I don't wanna-" Sam argues. _I don't want to hear another crazed fan say exactly what half of me is thinking._

"Just one more!" Freddie counters.

"Ugh," Sam groans, annoyed. _He doesn't get it. _

"Here, hold this," Freddie instructs, handing Carly the camera.

_What is he doing? _Sam wonders.

"You be nice," Carly whispers, confused.

"Just," Freddie motions for her to shut up. He walks over to grab his pear pad, syncing it with his computer. Suddenly, his face lights up the mental hospital's TV.

"Hey! It's me, Freddie," He begins.

_He's the last chat request, _Sam Realizes.

"So uh, a lot of people have been talking about whether Sam and I should.. You know.. 'Go out' with each other. And it's like everyone's wondering if Sam is crazy for wanting to."

_Which I am, _Sam adds to his speech.

"But nobody asked me how I feel," Freddie states.

Sam feels her heart rate speed up nervously, which is irritating because Sam Puckett doesn't get nervous. _I know I've been awful to him... But he's going to embarrass me in front of the entire web. He hates me, but not like I hate him._

"We talked about it," Sam defends.

"No, you talked. You told me how you feel, while you ate a quesadilla." Freddie corrects.

_Oh God, those quesadillas are too amazing. _

"The quesadillas here are amazing," Sam tells the internet audience.

"Shhh!" Carly shushes, thrilled by all the 'seddie drama' going on.

"Anyway, yeah, it's important how Sam feels.. But, how I feel's important too," Freddie says.

_Does he have to rub it in? _Sam wonders bitterly. _We get he doesn't like me already. He just wants to make me look stupid like I've done to him countless times... Ugh, I hate being vulnerable like this. Why do I have to love such a nub? _

"Okay Benson we get it!" Sam snaps.

_ You know what Benson! I don't care! Humiliate me, tease me, do whatever the hell you want. I'm done. I put my feeling out there, and you stomp all over then. I don't care, _Sam decides.

"You wanna humiliate me, on the web, in front of millions of people, go ahead and just do it okay. I don't care!"

Freddie places his pear pad down, heading towards Sam.

_She's gonna be pretty surprised, _He realizes, stepping closer.

"Get back at me for all the mean things I've sa-" Sam gets cut off by a pair of lips.

_My turn this time, Puckett, _Freddie thinks happily.

Sam still in shock and surprise as her mind becomes filled with thoughts, but so empty at the same time.

_He.. He didn't want to embarrass me.. He actually.. Likes me? _Sam realizes. She takes a moment to cherish the fact that his strong arms are on her. She presses her hand against his shoulder.

She is enchanted by his kiss... And it is beautiful.

For Freddie, this kiss is all he hoped. _How did she think I would want to embarrass her? How did I live without... This? _

He memorizes the feel of her lips, although he strongly hopes they will be on hers again.

Th two finally retreat. Freddie gazes into Sam's eyes are she looks around the room. She feels butterflies in her stomach.. But they're the beautiful kind of butterflies.

"You mean that?" She wonders, her tone skeptical.

Freddie wants to laugh at the absurdity of that idea. _Leading her on like that would be worse tha all the pranks she's pulled on me added together._

"Mmhmm," He nods, still a bit dazed from the reality of the situation. _I just kissed Sam Puckett... She didn't kiss me.. I kissed her, _he repeats.

She draws her arms off his shoulders, but he keeps his hands on her.

"So I guess we're both insane," Freddie realizes, grinning.

_We are both insane. _Sam agrees. _I've always hated him. I've pulled awful pranks and been flat out mean to him... And somehow he likes me.. And somehow, despite how much I hate him.. I don't._

The weird thing is.. Sam is very very glad they're both insane.

_We can be insane together. _


End file.
